The Untold Truth About Mother-Daughter Relationships And Eye-Opening
It has always been a question in my mind why my birth mother chose to keep me as a baby. I have brought this up in previous blog posts, constantly wondering and questioning. The strange thing is that she received no child support for me, despite it being court-ordered. My father had no idea where I was, which he made very clear. According to my birth mother, she fed me lies about my real father all throughout my life – claiming he died in a plane crash when I was young. As I grew older, she began to tell me that he never wanted anything to do with me and left because of that. However, the truth is that her actions drove him away, not mine. She also often told me that my real father knew of my whereabouts all along, but that was just another lie she used to cover her tracks. It’s unimaginable to me how someone could lie to their own child about their father; it only causes more pain and confusion for the child. Another confusing aspect of my life is that my birth mother divorced my father and then married my brother’s father. Even though he wasn’t my biological father, he still cared for me and considered me as his own. Sadly, he had no say in what happened to me, and I can’t help but wonder how things would have been different if I had been raised by him instead.
I believe the only reason she kept me around was because it made her life easier to have a young child. After leaving my brother’s father, whom she had two more children with, she also abandoned them. They were only 1 and a half years old and 6 months old when she left them. As a mother, how do you choose to keep one child and give up two babies? She always claimed that she couldn’t afford to support all three of us, but I later learned that wasn’t entirely true. In reality, she just didn’t want to be tied down with three children. As a mother myself, I couldn’t even fathom leaving my children and moving across the country away from them. This woman was clearly not fit to be a mother, considering she had been married six times and had children from three different men. Yet, for some reason, she chose to keep me. During those times, many children were being adopted out because their birth mothers couldn’t care for them. So what did keeping me actually benefit her? Because for the majority of my life growing up, I was abused by her husband – whether it was being beaten with a belt or backhanded or even sexually abused – and she allowed it to happen to her own child whom she carried for nine months and claimed to care about.
The woman who gave birth to me has always blamed me for the way her life turned out. She says I ruined her chance at an easy and happy life, but she made the decision to keep me when she could have aborted me like she did with my sibling before me. It’s not fair for her to blame me for her own choices. I’ve heard her say that I was the reason she couldn’t do the things she wanted in life, but I could never imagine saying that to my children, no matter how upset or frustrated I may be. There’s a common saying that if you didn’t want kids, you should have been more careful about preventing pregnancy. This is exactly what my birth mother should have done instead of bringing an unwanted child into the world.
I’ve been told countless times that I was never wanted and didn’t belong in this family. My appearance was constantly questioned because I looked different from everyone else. I was treated differently from my siblings who had a father figure in their lives. If one of them did something wrong, chances are I would get punished for it instead.
My birth mother often brags about all the trips we took and things we did together as a family, but these were mostly for my stepfather’s benefit or for my siblings’ enjoyment. They don’t make up for the years of mistreatment and favoritism that I endured.
It doesn’t bother me that my birth mother wishes I wasn’t born or that she has lied about my name and background for so many years. But it does make me wonder if she is truly my biological mother. In March 2024, I will submit a DNA test to find out the truth.
It’s frustrating to see my 73-year-old birth mother still spreading lies and portraying herself as a devout Christian when she can’t even be honest about her past mistakes and wrongdoings. Her lies have affected important documents such as my children’s birth certificates and my own marriage license. It’s time for her to come clean and face the consequences of her actions.
When asked if I would ever forgive my birth mother, my answer is a resounding NEVER AGAIN. After this latest incident, I have officially learned my lesson and will never allow her back into my life. I have made the mistake countless times before, only to have her place the blame on me or make false accusations about money she claims to have given me. These emails that I have shared in previous posts show the same pattern of her making claims about money and falsely taking credit for things she has supposedly done for me. For example, she told people that she paid for the single wide my husband and I bought in 1998 and the property it was on, even though we cut off all contact with her at that time. In reality, we bought that home and property on our own without any help from her. When we gained custody of my sister’s son after her murder, we needed a bigger home and again, we purchased a double wide and the land it was on without any assistance from his birth mother. However, she spread lies claiming that she bought our new home because her grandson needed his own bedroom, which was completely false. Even the seller of both homes can attest to the fact that she was not involved in any way during those purchases. Furthermore, we didn’t even need to make a down payment for either home, so her claims were absurd. She also started telling people that she bought our cars, despite the fact that most of them were purchased using my husband’s 401-K funds & income tax funds. The amount of lies she has spread to mutual acquaintances is astonishing. Who would want a birth mother who craves attention for fake accomplishments? Certainly not me, because if someone is not honest, why should they speak at all? The reason she opens her mouth is for attention from her supposed friends and followers who believe her lies.
Who would want a birth mother who seeks attention for false accomplishments? I certainly do not, as it seems that she can’t even be honest about her own actions. She craves constant validation from her friends and Christian followers, despite constantly spewing deceitful lies. One time, I confided in a pastor about her claims that I was going to hell and could not enter the gates of heaven; he reassured me that this was not true, and several others confirmed the same. It’s clear that my birth mother loves to pretend she knows everything, but in reality, she knows nothing about my spiritual beliefs or whether I am destined for heaven or hell. How can someone claim to be a good Christian and yet judge others based on their religion? This birth mother gave me a Bible every year while I was growing up, but instead of guiding me toward faith, she pushed me away with her judgmental behavior. However, since discovering a preacher on TikTok who speaks truthfully about religion, I feel more confident in my path to heaven. I understand that my sins can be forgiven as long as I ask for forgiveness from the Lord. What bewilders me is how my birth mother believes she has the power to determine where I end up after death – she is not the ultimate judge and jury. And yet, she continues to try and control me with her toxic behavior.
It was quite amusing, actually. Last night, I stumbled upon some things that made me laugh. I’ll post the photos she took of her notes – even when we were out shopping in Florence, she made sure to meticulously document everything. You can come to your own conclusion when you see those notes. She brought over a bunch of items to my house, and I don’t think she intended for these documents to ever be seen. But they were on paper and I found them, and I wasn’t pleased with the lies that were written down. Whenever we would encounter the birth mother in public, she would make a huge scene just so she could claim there were witnesses. She always played the victim, without fail. Believe it or not, my husband and I had to protect my children and nephew from her because she had repeatedly threatened to take him away – she’s a truck driver, so it seemed like an actual possibility. We had to shield him from his unstable grandparents. Yes, I have an email where she admitted to wanting to take him away – she’ll probably deny it now, but I have a copy of the email from Stingray@. So whenever we ran into her in public, we were on high alert to keep our kids away from her and her daughter who was equally as crazy. You’ll see in the notes that she kept in this blog post how many times she tried to control me. When she couldn’t manipulate me directly, she would try other tactics. I was an easy target because I was always afraid of getting in trouble, so I fell victim to her manipulations every time. But when I married my current husband 33 years ago, he helped me realize that she can’t control anything about me unless I allow her to. And he was right! However, since 2013, I foolishly allowed her to try and manipulate me again by dragging my family into a terrible crime that her grandson committed. That was the final straw for me with the birth mother.
It’s interesting how she claimed on Facebook that her ex-husband never abused their children, but now there are reports that DSS was called on her because he beat their daughter with a belt. It seems like she has been caught in a lie. I know firsthand what it’s like to get beaten by him, but I never reported it out of fear that he would hurt me even more for telling on him. But now I feel the need to share this information so people can see the truth about how sneaky and shady she really is. You can’t trust someone who would allow such horrific abuse to happen to their own child. She is pure evil and I would never trust her, even if she were the last person on earth to rely on. There are just some people you should never trust, and she is one of them.
Oh and Happy Valentine’s to Everyone! I will be posting at least a couple times of a week. I have started my Amazon AI book so things are only going good. Won’t be long before it will be up for sale.
Disclaimer: I was not compensated for this post. However, I received a free product(s) in exchange for my honest review. All opinions expressed in my blog or review are 100% of Laurali’s Blog
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