People Have Asked Aren’t You Worried Not Having A Birth Mother In Your Life

People Have Asked Aren’t You Worried Not Having A Birth Mother In Your Life 

First of all, you can’t miss something you never had right? I’ve got friends with mothers who worked and took the time to spend with their children. These friends have really great parents nothing like I went on in my life. It’s so crazy how mothers are so different from each other. One of my friend’s mother was a true mother to everyone and I truly miss that special lady that she was. We all wish sometime in our lives we had the parents our friends have.  Now I have been asked a few times won’t I miss the birth mother and my answer is absolutely not! Just because a woman gives birth doesn’t make her a birth mother because anyone can have a baby but it takes a real woman to be a mother to her children. I know there are working mothers out there I’m not knocking any working mother ever. But when a mother ignores her children because her job was more important that doesn’t make you a good mother it makes you a crappy mother. I want to explain why I’m posting on this subject.

When I was growing up the birth mother helped my stepfather run his plumbing business. Basically, she was his secretary in our house. We as children weren’t allowed to have friends call our house because that phone was a business phone. Needless to say between the birth mother and the stepfather we were strict so we didn’t get to use the phone unless we answered the phone the way we were instructed and that may be Tadlock’s Plumbing and lord forbid we had better written the message down on those pink miss called papers I hated them things. The birth mother was working when we lived in Darlington, S.C., and she and her friend would go to Shaw Air Force Base to meet men. She would leave my sister Jaime, the daughter from hell on me to babysit them. Imagine not having cell phones in the 80’s having no concerns if something happens! Now I can hear her saying this isn’t so but it’s very true stop denying you were a crappy mother! The birth mother relied on people around us in case we needed anything but why would we have to rely on others when you should have been a mother and not running the streets with your best friend at that time. As a matter of fact, her husband busted her and you and her didn’t go anymore after that happened.

Not just that but when you and my stepfather separated you started seeing his brother so there was that dysfunction literally rolling my eyes on this part. I liked my uncle but what kinda of message was that sending his nieces? Again she didn’t care because it was about her and her needs and wants. Of course, I was the one who still was babysitting sister Jaime and the daughter from hell. My sister Jaime was between 7-8 years old and always outside riding her bike. Then there was the dreaded day something bad happened to my sister Jaime. She always would put her bike against the electrical meter box that supplied power to the house and on that day I heard her scream and she came running in the door when I looked at her fingers they were black looking she had gotten an electrical shock. According to the birth mother she claimed that there was a nail in between the meter and the metal box and made several accusations of who had done it but there was never any proof of who had done it. Now my aunt and her mother were the ones who came to put the Aloe plant on Jaime’s hands. It took the birth mother a little while to get there to get her daughter the help she needed. 

Jaime’s hand ended up healing. I feel like my childhood was stolen from me from the stepfather sexually abusing me to the birth mother dumping her children on me to play the mom of them. I feel like I never got to do what most teenagers did at that time because I was tied down to babysitting Jaime & the daughter from hell which at that time was a baby/toddler. During that time we had a neighbor who was in 3rd mobile home behind us the guy was older than me by a couple of years but one day he brought his cousin who was way older than him. Well, that cousin was really nice to me, and felt bad I was always keeping Jaime & the daughter from hell. He would come over to visit and he was 6 1/2 years older than me and I was in the ninth grade, but he showed me the attention I so desperately was looking for as a 14-year-old. You have to remember I was still being sexually abused at that point and was being forced to grow up and keep children that weren’t mine. When I started being allowed to see my now ex-husband he would come and pick me up to go somewhere I would have to take the birth mother’s daughter with me the baby! So that meant a car seat, diaper bag, etc…  I truly hope she comes at me about this one because these people can still tell about it! I was 14 being made to grow up beyond my years! This birth mother robbed me of my childhood forcing me to always be her babysitter even for her to run the streets and go meet men with her friend. 

The birth mother was a wild child my grandparents even said it so did her sister. But the birth mother came from a poor childhood and has always wanted MORE AND BIGGER! It’s clear when you look at her track record of marriages looking for the ones that make money or the family that has money she went for! In her last marriage, she literally tried to sink him for everything she could. She tried to take a house that was in his parent’s name but he was definitely smart to have left the house in their name so the birth mother couldn’t get it a smart move. Heck, the birth mother’s daughter from hell had a baby and wasn’t mentally capable of taking care of a child so the birth mother took it upon herself to adopt that child and pushed her husband at that time to adopt him as well. She knew what she was doing she was setting the stage to have child support she knew she would have a steady income when she divorced him. She literally had him paying child support for a child that wasn’t his and she refused him access to him growing up because she made false statements that the Ex-husband abused him and that wasn’t the case but she pulled her strings in the system and made false accusations about him also. Then she went on about accusations about his current wife whom I have met several times she wasn’t the evil person she made her out to be. The funny thing about it is when my granddaughter was born the birth mother’s Ex-husband his soon-to-be wife came to the hospital and I have a photo of them holding my granddaughter together. The birth mother put her Ex husband through hell just like she is continuing to do to my family. She proclaims she doesn’t like DRAMA that she is a Christian and all this crap but still posting jabs and that daughter from HELL! 

The way I see it is this birth mother should have never been allowed to have children because she uses them or leaves them. I have never seen someone who uses things against others like she has. Just like when my brother Jason was murdered and the birth mother tried to insert herself into the whole situation when HELL she wasn’t even his mother growing up she was a part-time mother. The birth mother was making calls to officials after my brother’s life was taken trying to play the oh motherly thing! She made so many claims but didn’t even go to his funeral but supposedly loved him and his family so much. Now I loved my brother dearly and this is not about bashing my brother in no WAY he is the victim all the way around. See the birth mother played on my brother’s emotions all of his life she made promises she never kept. My brother wanted so bad to have his mother’s approval in life. Right before the horrible thing happened to him and his family she had promised to get his family a place in S.C. The continued promises and letdowns from her had taken a toll on my brother.  How does a mother up and walk off from a 1 1/2-year-old and a 6-month-old babies??? The mental mindset it puts on children is horrible.  I mean the birth mother sent things to my brothers but again a part-time parent who is 2000 miles away what kinda mindset it put on my brothers. How would anyone feel knowing your mother left you with your dad so she could go have her own life kinda selfish if you asked me! Her excuses have always been she couldn’t afford 3 children she could take care of 1 child so you picked How sick is that?! How does a mother do that to your children you carried for 9 months and gave birth to and one son had already formed the bond with that birth mother only for her to rip it from him as a baby TRULY SICK!  My brother was one of those special kinda people who had a kind heart and wanted a family. Jason and my sister Jaime were so much alike in that aspect they wanted something but never got what they truly wanted and that was their birth mother’s love. Now I can hear the birth mother screaming on this last part oh I have cards and letters from Jaime & Jason they loved me why should they have pushed it when you didn’t push harder to be a better mother to your children and help them when they needed the help! You want to know why because you claimed you had to work and you didn’t have time or your Ex-husband’s were more important than your own childrens feelings. 

This birth mother likes to be the center of attention to try and make herself look like she has done so much to help others when in fact she has done nothing. I still often wonder why she kept me even at 54 years old? I certainly wasn’t a meal ticket I think it was to keep me from my birth father to punish him and me and she did just that! I will never forgive her for what she has done to me, my brothers & Jaime. Now I want to jump over to talk about how a parent has a favorite child is that a real thing? Well with the birth mother is surely is she has always done favoritism over her children and never hid it from any of us. Now my brothers were lucky they weren’t subjected to that CRAP but my sister Jaime and I were. The daughter from hell who is the youngest was a spoiled brat literally no joke. When we lived behind the birth mother I was responsible for making sure her daughter was doing what she was supposed to at 10 years old she would go to her house and I was told to keep an eye out for her so I did like I was told even though I was grown the birth mother had that control over me. So one day the daughter from HELL decided to be a total BRAT and come outside with a huge knife and threatened to cut my neck and was yelling and saying all kinds of things well I called her mother and she played it off that I was lying but believe it or not I still have the polaroid with her holding the knife on their back deck. Well, I called the sheriff out and of course, the birth mother played that one off to keep the looney tune from getting help then. But in return, she started telling us we had to move and all kinds of things this went on for a little while until she got caught refinancing the car loan we were paying on so then she couldn’t cover up her lies anymore so she evicted us off her husband’s property. As I have said this woman didn’t deserve to be a mother, grandmother, or great-grandmother she shouldn’t have any title at all because she was horrible! Do I feel bad for what I have stated about her NO BECAUSE IT’S TRUE!  Am I worried about not having a mother? Absolutely NOT heck she has made it very clear even when I was growing she wished she had never had me so can’t miss a mother who wasn’t consent with her children! I’m good never having the birth mother in my life or my family’s lives! The birth mother is a total trainwreck who jumped the rails back in her teen years and never got back on the tracks to be a better mother to her children! Her husbands were always more important than her children.  

Be back for more later today!

Disclaimer: I was not compensated for this post. However, I received a free product(s) in exchange for my honest review.  All opinions expressed in my blog or review are 100% of Laurali’s Blog