Have you ever just wished you had different parents?

Have you ever just wished you had different parents?

Have you ever wished for different parents? When it comes to my biological father, I can’t say I feel that way. Despite only knowing him briefly, I never could bring myself to hate him. I understood why he couldn’t be a part of my life because of the issues with my biological mother. I’ve talked about this before – always feeling like I didn’t belong with her as a child. In my mind, I clung to the hope that my real mother would come and save me from the trauma and abuse I endured. But she never came, crushing any dreams I had of being truly loved as a child.

I am aware that the biological mother’s friends have claimed they never witnessed abuse because they always claimed I was well taken care of. However, no one knew what actually went on behind closed doors as we were taught not to speak about our home life. But the truth is, I suffered from abuse at the hands of my stepfather numerous times. It was a terrifying and traumatizing experience for a child to endure. The last incident occurred during my 9th-grade year at St. John’s High School when he struck me with a belt so forcefully that it left bruises all over my legs and buttocks. I had an opportunity to report the abuse, but I was too afraid of both my stepfather and biological mother. When I was asked to dress in shorts and t-shirts for gym class, I refused due to the marks on my body. As a result, I was sent to the office where I had another chance to speak up, but fear prevented me from doing so. Looking back, I regret not speaking out that day because it could have put an end to the suffering and abuse inflicted upon me by both my stepfather and biological mother.

Let me clarify, my biological mother used a belt on me and my brother Jason more often than my sister Jaime. Our biological mother also believed in using corporal punishment, often employing a belt or a wooden spoon or backhanding you in the face. The wooden spoon was reserved for our hands and feet, as our mother had a strict rule about not sitting on the furniture in her living room without permission. She even made us walk on a rubber mat with thorns on the bottom as punishment. My brother and I were both subjected to these bizarre forms of discipline, but unfortunately, my brother Jason is no longer here to speak the truth about our childhood experiences. Despite being middle class, the biological mother always tried to portray herself as better than others during her marriage to our stepfather. And while we lived in a double-wide home, she acted like it was a grand mansion and that we were wealthy because our stepfather owned his own plumbing business.

It’s unbelievable how someone like the biological mother, who should have never been allowed to have children, ended up with them. Why is it that the people who shouldn’t be parents are the ones having and mistreating children? I can’t wrap my head around why God would allow these two individuals to bring children into this world. As a mother for 37 years, I could never imagine treating my children the way I was treated. It’s clear that God didn’t think this through before granting them the ability to reproduce. Even after all this time, I still hold onto these feelings because of the issues I’ve had with the biological mother and her toxic traits of narcissism, OCD, and control. Do I feel guilty for saying this? Absolutely not! If you want to know why, try walking in my shoes first.

Some people have asked me if I feel guilty for speaking the truth about my biological mother. I always answer with a resounding “no” because the truth is what matters to me, and I rest peacefully at night knowing that the truth has been told. I don’t have trouble sleeping, as I say my prayers and remember that God was there with me during my difficult childhood, witnessing everything that happened. Being religious is not something I typically mention in my posts, as I don’t use it as a crutch and dislike when people fake their faith for personal gain. But I do pray every night, and I believe that’s why I have no guilt in telling the truth. It’s ironic that as a child, I was constantly reminded that lying would send me to Hell, yet my biological mother called me a liar after being told about the SA. She would always question whether anything I said was true or not, which was hurtful for a child to experience. She claims that her friends, who have known her for over 50 years, never saw any abuse and thought everything was good? How could they possibly know when they were just covering things up for her? But I lived in the same house with her and know the truth about her behavior then and now.

As a mother myself, I cannot fathom treating my children the way my biological mother treated me and my siblings. I always made sure to tell my children how much I love them and never turned my back on them or my grandchildren. My biological mother, on the other hand, never wanted to be a grandmother and she made that clear when my children were younger. She would often refuse to watch both of my daughters together, claiming it was too much for her. She also showed favoritism towards one of my daughters over the other, which was hurtful to witness. My biological mother is extremely racist and has made it known that people of color are not equal to white people, even going so far as to say they have different colored blood. She is also against interracial relationships and made this known when my daughter came out as a teenager and started dating someone of color. Her hate towards my daughter was evident and caused a strain in their relationship. This negativity from my biological mother drove a wedge between her and my daughter, who only tolerated her at family gatherings or brief visits to our house. Years later, after the death of my son-in-law, my youngest daughter became the target of her hate, with my biological mother even taking to social media to blame my daughter and make fun of her appearance. It is shocking to think that someone who claims to be religious would behave in such a hateful manner. It makes you wonder what kind of church she attends – perhaps one with a funny farm mentality.

This morning, I woke up to a message from someone who had posted something ignorant about me. I’ll include the post below. What bothers me is that this person believes they can gain entry through Heaven’s gates despite all the wrongs they have committed and the knowledge they possess. I can’t understand how they think they’re holier than thou. Let me make it clear: if I harbor any hatred towards this individual, it is well-deserved due to everything they’ve done to me, my family, and my entire life. The good Lord must know that there are only two people in this world whom I hate with a passion- my biological mother and the woman who murdered my sister. If that is the sole reason why I am not worthy of entering Heaven, then so be it. Despite not attending church with hypocrites, gossip, and judgmental Bible-thumpers, I still read my Bible and listen to online sermons from the Philippines. So if God judges me for speaking nothing but the TRUTH, then I accept whatever punishment awaits because everything I’ve written about these individuals is nothing but factual. And if He wants to condemn me to Hell for hating these people, then I’m sure I won’t be alone- they’ll be right there beside me. The good Lord has witnessed and knows everything that has been said and done by these people. The only reason she almost spit her drink out was because the good Lord kicked her reminding her of how she is doing to others.

I literally can’t stand a hypocrite they always gossip about others. I know I talk about the biological mother, her daughter, and the stepfather about all the things that have been done to me and my family over the years but that doesn’t make me a hypocrite either. I don’t go to church on Sunday and Wednesday and on the other days spew hate until it’s time to go to church again. I also don’t preach to others because I don’t think it is my place it’s the good Lord’s place to judge others. I don’t post for clout with fake religion posts. I myself don’t post things like that to try and gain attention. The way I look at it you have TRUE Christians and you have FAKE Christians. In my book, the biological mother has always been a fake Christian always seeking pity and sympathy from others or to make people think she is a Christian. A good Christian doesn’t go around spreading rumors and bashing others on social media platforms or spreading lies that aren’t true to others. Doesn’t the Bible talk about gossipers? It surely does ——> On the one hand, Scripture speaks strongly against gossip. Romans 1:29; 2 Corinthians 12:20 – Both differentiate gossip from slander and condemn it as the result of a depraved mind, unfitting for Christians. 1 Timothy 5:13; 2 Thessalonians 3:11 – Both condemn “busybodies” who “speak about things not proper to mention.”←——

I couldn’t care less about what the biological mother thinks. I am confident in my character as a good person and she is clearly envious of that. They say what goes around comes around, and eventually it will catch up to her. She may think that my lawyer is imaginary, but he is a real person whom I am grateful to have representing me. And I have no reason to lie because all the facts are clearly stated on paper. The file that was given to me contains extensive information and details of the incident that occurred in Florence, S.C. back in 2010, thanks to the individual who provided it to me. It reveals the patterns of behavior of the biological mother. And this is only scratching the surface; I have additional evidence from past events, including an 18MM film. Unlike her, when I lay my head down at night I have no trouble sleeping because I know everything I’ve said has been truthful, not fabricated lies. Maybe if she learned to be honest and tell the truth, she wouldn’t struggle with sleeping at night.

To Be Continued!!

Disclaimer: I was not compensated for this post. However, I received a free product(s) in exchange for my honest review.  All opinions expressed in my blog or review are 100% of Laurali’s Blog